Categories
Business Storytelling

The Closed Laptop

The conference rooms all look the same after a while. Same long table. Same chairs that cost more than they should. Same window with the same view of the same parking lot baking in the same California sun. You stop seeing them. You develop a kind of practiced receptivity, a professional openness that is also, if you are honest, a professional distance. You have heard the story before. You know where you are in the presentation without looking at the slide number.

Until the day someone sits down across from you and closes their laptop and says: can I just tell you our story?


Fred Wilson, the venture capitalist at Union Square Ventures, has spent forty years learning to tell the difference between founders who can build and founders who can make you believe. The skill he overweights now, heโ€™ll tell you plainly, isnโ€™t technical. Itโ€™s selling. Recruiting, fundraising, convincing customers, inspiring teams. โ€œActually being able to write code,โ€ he said recently, โ€œis probably not a big deal anymore.โ€ What matters is whether you can cross the distance between your vision and someone elseโ€™s imagination and deposit something true and alive on the other side.

Most founders never figure this out. They build the deck instead. They pull the projector cable from the drawer โ€” there is always a drawer, there is always a cable โ€” and the room fills with blue light and bullet points and the comfortable geometry of a prepared presentation, and what never happens is the thing that needed to happen.

But there was this one morning.


He came in with his cofounder in the flat gray light that Silicon Valley gets in February, when the rain has stopped but the sky hasnโ€™t decided what it wants to be. They were early. He set his bag down and sat directly across from me โ€” not at the presenterโ€™s angle, not with one eye already calculating the distance to the screen โ€” directly across, the way you sit with someone you already know, or intend to. Neither of them reached for the cable in the drawer.

He looked at me with the particular steadiness of a person who has decided not to manage the moment.

Can I just tell you our story?

I want to be honest about what happened next, which is that I felt something shift before he said another word. Not a decision exactly. More like the precondition for a decision, the ground tilting slightly in a direction I hadnโ€™t chosen. I was, in some way I couldnโ€™t have defended rationally at the time, already with him. And I knew it, and I knew it was not an entirely reasonable response to a man who had been in the room for less than a minute, and I felt it anyway.

The laptop stayed closed for the next twenty minutes. No transitions. No bullet points. No hockey stick arcing toward a number reverse-engineered from a desired outcome. Just his voice and what he believed and the quality of attention you give a person when there is nothing else in the room to look at.

The deck came later. It was beautiful. By then it didnโ€™t need to be anything except true.


Storytelling is not a skill in the way that financial modeling is a skill. It is older than that by such a margin that the comparison almost doesnโ€™t make sense. What we are really talking about is the oldest technology human beings possess โ€” a person in a room, a voice, an image made of nothing but words and the willingness to believe in them. It was doing its work around fires forty thousand years before the first conference room was built, and it has never once required a projector.

What the great storytellers understand, and what the best founders understand in the same unspoken way, is that a story is not a transfer of information. It is a transfer of inner states. When it works โ€” when it really works โ€” something that existed inside one person gets reconstructed inside another, and the listener emerges changed. Not persuaded. Not informed. Changed. These are different experiences, and only one of them makes a person willing to bet their career on something that doesnโ€™t exist yet.

The deck puts glass between the teller and that possibility. The founder stands at the edge of the blue light pointing at things, and the room evaluates the things, and what never happens is the transfer. Everyone files out having formed opinions about the slides rather than beliefs about the person. Opinions and beliefs are not the same.

Wilson understands this even if he wouldnโ€™t use these words. When he says the skill is selling, what he means underneath the selling is: can this person walk into a room and make other people inhabit their vision? Not convince them. Inhabit. The difference is the difference between reading about a place and being there. One of them changes how you act. The other one you forget on the drive home.


The projector cable is still in the drawer. Someone will pull it out next week, and the room will fill with blue light, and another founder will stand at the edge of it pointing at things, hoping that the right font and the right graph will do the work that only a human being, exposed and without props, can actually do.

It wonโ€™t. It never does.

The CEO who closed his laptop had been carrying a story he believed in, and he knew the story was the thing, not the packaging around it. He understood that the oldest container is also the most powerful one. His own voice. A room. Someone willing to listen.

I was ready to work with him before he said another word.

Categories
Creativity

Be the Only!

Kottke blogged this week about Kevin Kelly’s book Excellent Advice for Living: Wisdom I Wish I’d Known Earlier and one of the top tips in that book that Kelly has talked about in several interviews he’s given about the book:

Don’t be the best. Be the only.

Kelly’s advice stands apart from the common wisdom that we should always strive to be the best by doing our utmost. In a world that constantly pushes us to compete and compare, there is something incredibly freeing about the notion of rejecting that rat race entirely.

“Don’t be the best, be the only” is a reminder that true success and fulfillment often come from carving your own unique path, rather than trying to climb to the top of someone else’s ladder.

It’s an idea that deeply resonates for any creative soul who has felt the sting of having their work measured and ranked against arbitrary standards and tastes. How can you be the “best” writer when writing is so subjective? The “best” artist when art is meant to provoke different responses in different viewers? We secretly know that concepts of better and best are flawed when it comes to creative expression.

And yet, we are conditioned nearly from birth to see life as a competition – to be smarter, prettier, more accomplished than our peers. We are repeatedly asked by teachers, parents, employers, “What makes you the best candidate?” As if we must relentlessly pursue that elusive #1 spot, which can only have one holder at a time until someone new swipes it away.

What a profoundly different and enlivening perspective to simply say, “I’m not chasing ‘best.’ My goal is to be the ‘only.'” Not better, but different. To create a novel blend of vision and craft that is utterly new and unlike any other offering in the world.

It means doubling down on what makes you unique rather than tempering those interesting edges to fit conventional molds. It means zigging when others zag, embracing your personal quirks and experiences as puzzle pieces that culminate in a new shape. One that perhaps only you could construct.

There is a deep self-knowledge required to get there, an ability to tune out the noise in our mind that is always eager to tell us where we fall short and what we must do to be validated. Instead, go further inward and listen to the quiet hum of your own creativity, allowing it to guide you towards a novel magic that only you can create.

It’s an incredibly brave and almost defiant stance. A willing abdication of the endless pecking order tournaments we are drafted into throughout life. A saying of, “I do not want to be ranked or graded. My work and expression will be something wholly original that becomes a new category unto itself.”

In Kelly’s case, being an “only” seems to have stemmed from zealously pursuing a wide range of kaleidoscopic interests, starting unique initiatives, peering over the horizon, and connecting disparate dots that others missed.

Perhaps the greatest challenge in striving to “be the only” is having the courage to stay true to your unique vision, even when it defies conventional wisdom or expectations. It requires an unwavering belief in your distinctive voice and the patience to carve out your own path, one peculiar step at a time. Those who achieve that rarefied space of being truly inimitable likely navigate long periods of being misunderstood or underestimated before their original perspectives start to resonate.

Ultimately, the pursuit of “only” is about more than just creative success – it’s about living and working with uncompromising authenticity. About being willing to be misunderstood by others, sometimes by harsh critics who’d rather see you struggle. When you stop measuring yourself against external yardsticks and wholeheartedly embrace what makes you your own idiosyncratic self, you open up vast frontiers of possibility. You give yourself permission to be precisely who you are, to contribute the unique only you can offer this world. And perhaps, in doing so, you’ll inspire others to boldly cherish and amplify their own distinctive brilliance as well.

Categories
Aging Living

Time’s Tightening Lens

Margaret flipped the calendar to April, taking a moment to pencil in a dentist appointment for the 15th. As her eyes traced the upcoming weeks and months laid out in tidy little boxes, a pang of something indescribable tugged at her heart.

She had just celebrated her 75th birthday a few weeks prior. The well-wishes and family gatherings had been lovely, of course, but it also brought into sharp focus the reality of where she was in life’s journey.

“The days may be long, but the years are shortening,” she muttered under her breath, adapting an old adage. How true it rang.

When Margaret was young, summers seemed to stretch into eternities of adventures and discoveries. The school year trudged by in an endless succession of monotonous weekdays, only brightened by bright visions of the coming break. Back then, the iris of her life’s lens was wide open, framing each experience and possibility in brilliantly expansive clarity.

Then came the headlong rush of early adulthood – college, career, marriage, mortgages, raising children. Those years flashed by in a kaleidoscopic blur of milestones and transitions as the lens iris gradually began contracting.

As she hit her 50s, then 60s, Margaret noticed the iris tightening more rapidly, compressing the time between each passing holiday, season, and anniversary into an ever-dizzying cycle. Her fading eyesight from developing cataracts didn’t help matters, casting a hazy filter over the world.

But then, a few years ago, the miracles of modern medicine gave Margaret’s vision a new lease on life. The cataract surgery and implanted lenses allowed the vibrant colors and crispness of the world to flood back in like a rediscovered treasure. In that sense, her visual perspective expanded once more, even as the metaphorical iris of her life continued its contraction.

And now, at 75, it was as if someone was inexorably closing that iris tighter with each advancing year:

“For the majority of my journey, the road ahead stretched endlessly, with infinite possibility. Now, I can see the horizon in the rearview mirror growing larger by the day as my lens’s aperture shrinks.”

Margaret sighed and rested her chin in her hand, the April calendar still open before her. She knew her remaining years were dwindling – not infinite and permanent as they once felt, but finite and fleeting. Compounding the sense of time slipping away was Margaret’s deteriorating health and mobility in most respects.

Just last year, her knee replacement surgery and recovery had put a frustrating damper on her activity levels. The idea of extended travel grew less appealing by the day as simple acts like walking through an airport became more taxing and painful. Margaret felt her world gradually contracting in parallel with the narrowing iris of her life.

The tender moments spent with her grandchildren took on even greater poignancy these days. Holding them close, breathing in their young scent, Margaret fought back tears at the realization that her lens’s window was just about fully closed – she may only get a precious few more years of making memories with them before her body gave out completely. She wonders whether she will live to see them graduate from high school, or from college, or get married and have children of their own? She starts adding numbers together – but then stops, it’s just not helpful.

“When you’re young and healthy, the whole world is framed in a brilliant wide-angle vista,” she thought with a melancholy smile. “But as you age, your lens’s aperture shrinks tighter with every passing day, slowly dimming and limiting your horizons along with your vitality. Sometimes, though, modern medicine can re-expand part of that diminishing vista, if only for a short time.”

As Margaret reflected, she wondered why this profound truth about the compression of time couldn’t be more visibly grasped and heeded in one’s youth. Perhaps it was the utter lack of firsthand experience with anything but the perception of a boundless future stretching ahead. Or the youthful naivete and feeling of invincibility that blinds us to the inevitability of age and mortality.

Or maybe it was the sheer inability to emotionally connect with and envision the people we’ll become further down the road – our future elderly selves feel like separate beings, unmoored from our present gaze. Our culture’s obsession with perpetual youth and human hardwiring for present-bias didn’t help either, constantly diverting attention away from the road’s eventual dead-end.

By the time that bone-deep wisdom of time’s finicky passage finally sets in, it’s often too late to fundamentally reorient our paths and appreciate the expansiveness while it still lasts. If only there was a way to bottleneck that epiphany to the young, Margaret thought, to inspire them to maximize their ambitions before that iris inevitably narrows to a sliver.

Margaret closed the calendar, arose from the kitchen table, and headed out into the backyard garden she had cultivated for over 40 years. The vibrant blooms seemed to pop with richer color and clarity thanks to her recently restored eyesight. More than ever, she wanted to soak in and appreciate every beautifully ordinary day and finite vista she had left, before her lens finally closed entirely.

Aging is one of the many happenstances over which we humans have absolutely no control, but โ€“ as with all happenstances โ€“ we have absolute control over how we play (or donโ€™t play) the cards dealt us by the fickle fingers of fate.

Joe Klock