Tag: Patience

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Business Games Living

A Good Life Is an Infinite Game Played Well

I keep coming back to the eight CEOs in William Thorndike’s The Outsiders.

On paper they were capital allocators of unusual discipline. Looked at another way, they were people who had figured out how to play a long game inside systems designed to reward short ones. They treated the company as something that should still be healthy decades later, not as a vehicle for the next announcement or the next victory lap. Per-share value compounded quietly over time mattered more than size, applause, or the quarterly scoreboard. They were willing to look wrong for years. And most of them had little interest in the theater of the charismatic chief executive. Their authority accumulated the slow way — through decisions that held up after the noise moved on.

It is the same stance James Carse described in an infinite game: a game whose purpose is not to win but to keep the play going. You are never finished, only ahead or behind, and the position worth wanting is often the one that feels slightly behind — the one that still demands invention.

Micky Malka, describing the founders he most wants to back, named a similar cluster of qualities: the energy of a scientist, the conviction of a missionary, the heart of a partner, the dreams of an athlete, the obsession of an owner. People built that way don’t need the room to agree they’re winning. The Outsiders ran on a quieter version of the same current — their edge was steadiness more than brilliance, the nerve to ignore the wrong scoreboard for as long as it took.

A good life asks for the same thing. Not trophies lined up on a shelf, but the willingness to keep playing with attention — to keep learning, to keep showing up without needing anyone in the room to say you’re ahead. That’s lifelong learning.

Henry Singleton ran Teledyne for almost three decades and rarely bothered to explain any decision to Wall Street. He wasn’t playing to be believed. He was playing to still be at the table thirty plus years on.

Categories
Cooking Cooking Tips Recipes

On Cooking Backward

I have been thinking about a steak, and about Charlie Munger.

Munger liked to say, “invert, always invert,” meaning that some problems give up more easily if you turn them around and look at them from the back.

I don’t know that he ever cooked a steak in his life, but the advice applies to one anyway. There is a method called reverse searing, and it works like this: you put the meat in a slow oven first, so it warms through gently and evenly, and only at the very end do you give it a hard, fast sear in a hot pan, just long enough for a crust.

This is backward from how most of us were taught — sear first, finish low — and it turns out the old way was mostly wrong, or at least less reliable. The middle of the meat and the outside of the meat have different jobs, and trying to make one method serve both has always been a small, forgivable mistake.

Tri-tip is a peculiar cut of beef — the grain runs one way across part of it and then quietly changes direction, so that if you slice straight through without noticing, you end up with something tougher than it needed to be. You have to find the place where it shifts and turn your knife with it. It isn’t hard, once you know to look. There’s usually a faint seam where the change happens, almost like a crease in fabric, and once you’ve found it you’ll find it every time after.

I don’t want to make too much of this. It does seem true, in cooking and in other things, that the order you do something in matters more than people let on, and that the patient, unglamorous part — the slow oven, the waiting — usually deserves more credit than it gets.

The sear is what you remember. The low heat is what made it possible.

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Bonsai Filoli Living

The Patience of Small Things

There is a tree on a terrace at Filoli that is roughly the size of a lamp. It sits in a shallow black bowl, its trunk leaning with the easy confidence of something that has been leaning for decades, its canopy splayed against the California sky like a fist slowly opening. Behind it, the estate’s formal garden dissolves into soft focus — roses, balustrades, the suggestion of abundance. The bonsai doesn’t compete with any of it. It simply occupies its few cubic feet with a completeness that makes everything else feel approximate.

I’ve been thinking about what that completeness costs.

The tree is probably a juniper — the fibrous, spiraling bark, the dense scale-like foliage, the way the branch structure seems to remember every decision ever made about it. Bonsai practitioners talk about nebari, the visible surface roots, and movement, the quality of dynamism frozen into wood. This one has both. The trunk doesn’t just lean; it goes somewhere, pulled by some invisible argument the grower made with it over years, or decades, or longer. The moss at its base is so even and green it looks curated, because it was.

What strikes me standing in front of it is that this is a technology — not in the semiconductor sense, but in the older one. A technique for shaping time. The grower didn’t make this tree. They made conditions, and maintained them, and made them again, and the tree is what happened. The distinction matters. There’s no shortcut to the trunk diameter. There’s no prompt that produces the movement in that wood.

I work in a medium where the gap between intention and output has collapsed to nearly nothing. I describe something and it appears. There’s tremendous utility in that, and I’m not romantic enough to pretend otherwise. But Filoli’s bonsai terrace is a useful corrective — a reminder that some forms of beauty are only legible as records of duration. The lean of that trunk is not a feature. It’s an argument made slowly, over a life, against gravity.

I don’t know who grew it. I don’t know if they’re still alive. The tree, characteristically, offers no information about this. It just stands there in its bowl, complete, patient, not particularly interested in being understood.

Categories
Living

When Patience is Just Stubbornness in Disguise

We are taught from childhood that patience is the ultimate virtue. Good things come to those who wait. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

We elevate patience to a saintly status, conditioned to believe that if we simply hold on long enough, the universe will inevitably reward our suffering with success.

In his book Same as Ever, Morgan Housel offers a piercing observation that shatters our romanticized view of waiting:

“Patience is often stubbornness in disguise.”

That single sentence is a quiet earthquake. It forces us to examine the things we are holding onto and the real reasons why we refuse to let them go.

We like to tell ourselves we are being patient—with a stagnant career, a fractured relationship, or a creative project that refuses to take flight. The label of “patience” feels noble. It feels righteous. It protects our ego from the sharp, uncomfortable sting of failure.

But if we strip away the noble veneer, what remains is often simple, unyielding stubbornness. It is the refusal to adapt, the refusal to admit defeat, and the refusal to accept that the world has changed while we were standing still. “I’m staying the course” is much easier to say than “I’m terrified to admit I made a mistake.”

I think about the seasons in my own life where I mistook one for the other.

I held onto projects that had lost their spark, telling myself that the breakthrough was just around the corner, just one more iteration away. I’ve held on to failing investments for far too long.

In hindsight, I wasn’t practicing patience. I was practicing avoidance. I was avoiding the grief of letting go and the daunting reality of starting over from scratch.

So, how do we distinguish between the two? How do we know when we are nurturing a slow-growing seed, and when we are merely digging our heels into the dirt and being stubborn?

The difference lies in our relationship with reality. True patience involves a quiet confidence and an active engagement with the present. It requires us to make incremental progress, to observe the feedback the world gives us, and to adjust accordingly. Patience is flexible yet realistic.

Stubbornness, on the other hand, is rigid. It ignores feedback. It closes its eyes to the changing environment and insists that reality bend to its will.

It takes vulnerability to look at something you’ve poured your heart and time into and say, “This isn’t working, and I am choosing to walk away.” It is not a weakness to change your mind when the evidence suggests you should. Often, it is the ultimate act of self-awareness. Annie Duke wrote a whole book about quitting being an underutilized choice.

Sometimes, the most productive thing we can do with our time is to stop waiting, let go, and walk in an entirely new direction.

Categories
Living Television

The Drift of the Vertical Hold

There is a specific kind of frustration reserved for things that almost work.

In the 1950s, television wasn’t the seamless, high-definition portal we know today. It was a temperamental guest in the living room, prone to static, ghosts, and the dreaded vertical roll. When the “vertical hold” failed, the image would begin to slide—first slowly, then into a dizzying, rhythmic tumble.

“It used to drive my Dad crazy when the screen would start rolling and even have to get up out of his chair and adjust the vertical hold. It would seem to hold for a few minutes and then it would start rolling again. It drove him nuts.”

I remember my Dad in those moments. The rolling screen didn’t just disrupt the program; it seemed to pull at his very patience. It was one of the rare times we might hear him mutter a swear word. He would have to leave the comfort of his chair to fiddle with the dial. He’d tweak it with surgical precision until the picture locked into place. He would sit back down, satisfied for a moment, only to see the image begin its slow, inevitable upward crawl once again.

It was a battle against the “drift.”

We don’t have vertical hold dials anymore. Our screens are perfect, locked in digital amber. Yet, I find that the feeling of the vertical hold remains a central part of the human condition. We spend our lives trying to “lock in” our circumstances—our careers, our relationships, our sense of self. We get up, we make the adjustment, we sit back down, and for a few minutes, the picture of our life looks exactly how it’s supposed to.

But life, by its nature, has a tendency to drift.

The rolling screen was a reminder that the transmission was fragile. Perhaps my Dad’s frustration wasn’t just about missing a few minutes of a show, but about the realization that he couldn’t force the world to stay still. We are all, in some way, standing behind the television set of our own lives, fingers on the dial, trying to keep the image from sliding into the static.

There is a quiet philosophy in that 1950s living room: the hold is never permanent. The beauty isn’t in a perfectly locked picture that lasts forever, but in the willingness to get out of the chair and try to find the focus again, over and over.