Tag: happiness

Categories
Family Friends Living

The Texture of Tuesday

There is a terrifying calmness to the math of mortality. Especially when you’re in your 70’s approaching 80!

Sahil Bloom shared a realization that acts as a quiet sledgehammer to the soul: “You’re going to see your parents 15 more times before they die.” When you live away from them, visiting a few times a year, the calculus is brutal.

But there is a second, more subtle layer to this reality that we often miss. It isn’t just about the number of times we visit; it is about the nature of the time we share together.

When we live away from the people we love, we fall into the “Trap of the Big.” Because the investment to visit is high—a six-hour flight or a three-hour drive—we feel the need to justify that investment with an Event. We visit mostly for milestones, for holidays, and for planned long weekends. Maybe we schedule time to go on vacations together. We curate our presence around those highlights.

The problem is that life does not happen in the highlights. Real intimacy is not built on Thanksgiving dinner; it is built on the mundane friction together of a Tuesday afternoon. Or a Sunday morning.

Sahil wrote about a moment that shifted his entire perspective. It wasn’t a grand celebration, but a quiet spring evening in the backyard. Dinner was over. He was drinking a glass of wine. His son was chasing his parents around the grass.

“In that moment, I had a realization: This was it. It wasn’t big or glamorous. It was a little thing that meant everything.”

This brings to mind Kurt Vonnegut’s suggestion: “Enjoy the little things in life, for one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.”

There is a specific texture to life that only exists in the small moments. It is the texture of going for a walk to ask your dad for advice on a random problem. Or the texture of watching a a young mother playing dinosaurs with her 2 year old daughter on a Wednesday morning. It is that ability to be present not just for the celebration of life, but for the living of it.

If we are lucky, we get those big moments. But if we are intentional, we can also get the little ones. And in the end, the little ones are the only ones that actually fill our jar.

Categories
Goals Living

Arriving

There is a specific, quiet kind of melancholy that sets in the day after a massive victory. You spend months, perhaps years, pushing a boulder up a hill. You tell yourself stories about the view from the top. You convince yourself that the air is sweeter there, that the light is golden, and that once you crest that peak, you will finally exhale.

But then you arrive. You stand at the summit. You look around. The view is nice, certainly. But you are still you. The wind is cold. And, terrifyingly, you see a higher peak in the distance that you hadn’t noticed from the valley floor.

Sahil Bloom captures this phenomenon precisely in his framework on wealth:

“The arrival fallacy is the false assumption that reaching some achievement or goal will create durable feelings of satisfaction and contentment in our lives.”

We are culturally wired for the “if/then” logic of happiness. If I get the promotion, then I will feel secure. If I sell the company, then I will feel successful. If I hit the number, then I will be enough. We treat happiness as a location—a coordinate on a map that we are navigating toward.

The tragedy of the arrival fallacy isn’t that we have goals; goals are necessary for direction. The tragedy is that we mortgage our present contentment for a future payoff that bounces check after check. We treat the present moment as a waiting room, a sterile place to endure until our “real life” begins at the finish line.

But durability—that lasting sense of peace we crave—is never found in the outcome. Outcomes are fleeting. They are singular points in time that instantly become the past. Durability is found in the texture of the process. It is found in the struggle, the problem-solving, the quiet Tuesday mornings, and the friction of growth.

If we cannot find a way to fall in love with the climb, the summit will always feel hollow. The goal shouldn’t be the source of our happiness; it should just be the thing that organizes our energy while we find happiness in the work itself.

We never truly “arrive.” We just keep becoming. The journey is indeed the reward.

Categories
Living Quotations

Happy New Year: On Toughness, Unfairness, and Gratitude

Happy New Year!

Charlie Munger once said something that’s been rattling around in my head lately: “Life is tough, life is unfair. Things could be worse.” Today is Charlie’s birthday too.

Charlie’s commentary is not exactly the kind of sentiment you’d find on a greeting card or some inspirational Instagram post. There’s no call to “manifest your dreams” or promise that “this is your year.” And yet, as we stand at the beginning of 2026, I’m reminded yet comforted by Munger’s blunt assessment.

Because here’s the thing: life is tough. It doesn’t distribute its blessings evenly. It’s often unfair.

Some of us start the year nursing wounds from the last one. Some of us are grieving, struggling, or simply exhausted.

To those with those feelings the New Year’s promise of a fresh start can feel pretty hollow when you’re dragging the same problems across an arbitrary calendar line.

I don’t think that final phrase—“things could be worse”—is Charlie being pessimistic. It’s perspective. Even when life is tough or unfair, there’s still something worth holding onto.

As we step into this new year, maybe our resolution should be simple: to face life’s toughness with honesty, to acknowledge its unfairness without being consumed by it, and to remember, on our hardest days, that we’re still here. That things certainly could be worse—and because they’re not, there’s room for gratitude, for effort, for hope.

So here’s to a 2026 full of clear eyes and full hearts, to being smart and honest enough to recognize what’s unfair, but having the wisdom to appreciate what remains.

To really savor moments of joy whenever and wherever we find them. And to keep perspective.

Happy New Year.

Categories
Family Living

Choosing Happiness

In a profoundly moving article, financial writer Jonathan Clements shared his thoughts on facing a terminal cancer diagnosis. His words serve as a powerful reminder of life’s fragility and the importance of cherishing our limited time.

As I read his piece this morning, on what would have been our beautiful daughter Tracy’s 53rd birthday, I’m struck by how his message resonates with my own experiences of both joy and loss. Tracy passed away on December 20, 2022. Today, as we remember her birth 53 years ago, we are filled with a bittersweet mix of grief and gratitude. (See also this post on her birthday last year: A Very Special Day)

Tracy brought so much light into our lives – her laughter, her kindness, her unique way of seeing the world. We remember her childhood antics, her significant accomplishments as an adult, and the countless moments of joy she shared with our family and her friends.

Clements’ approach to his situation is both inspiring and thought-provoking. He chooses to focus on what truly matters: spending time with loved ones, pursuing meaningful work, and setting things in order for those he’ll leave behind. As we all should. His attitude encapsulates a profound truth: happiness is indeed a choice, even in the face of heartbreak.

For Clements, this means working on his website, spending quality time with family, and planning for the future. For me today, it means honoring our daughter’s memory by embracing the joy she brought into our lives and carrying forward her spirit of love and kindness.

Today, as we celebrate our daughter’s life and the immeasurable happiness she brought to our family, I’m reminded that choosing happiness is also a way of honoring those we’ve lost. It’s about carrying forward their love, their spirit, and the lessons they taught us.

Godspeed Tracy!

Categories
Journaling Living Memories Photography - Black & White

The Cartographer of Meaning

As I wander through the topography of life, I find myself drawn to the notion that meaning is not a destination, but a traveling companion. The words of Neil King echo in my mind like a gentle breeze rustling the leaves of understanding: “You bring meaning with you when you go looking for meaning, and the more of it you bring, the more you get in return.” It is a reminder that the search for significance is not a passive pursuit, but an active participation in the creation of our own significance.

Like a cartographer charting the unexplored territories of the human experience, we bring our own instruments of meaning-making to the journey. Our experiences, beliefs, and values serve as our compass guiding us through the our personal paths of existence. The more we bring to the table, the more we are able to discern the hidden patterns and connections that weave the tapestry of our lives.

As I meander through the landscape of memory, I realize that the moments of greatest insight and understanding were not chance encounters, but the culmination of a deliberate search. The more I brought to the experience — curiosity, empathy, and a willingness to learn — the more the world revealed its secrets to me. The gentle rustle of leaves in an autumn breeze became a symphony of sound, a reminder of the beauty that lies just beneath the surface of the mundane.

In this sense, meaning is not something we find, but something we forge. It is the alchemy of our experiences, transformed by the crucible of our perception into a golden understanding that illuminates the path ahead. And yet, it is a fleeting thing, a will-o’-the-wisp that beckons us deeper into the mystery.

Perhaps that is the greatest truth of all — that meaning is not a destination, but a journey. It is the process of bringing our whole selves to the experience of life, with all its joys and sorrows, triumphs and failures. The more we bring, the more we receive, and the more we are transformed by the encounter.

As I continue on this winding path, I am reminded of the wisdom of the ancient Greek aphorism: “The unexamined life is not worth living.” But I would add a corollary — the unlived life is not worth examining. It is in the living, the experiencing, and the bringing of our whole selves to the moment that we find the meaning we seek.

As you embark on your own journey of discovery, remember to bring your instruments of meaning-making with you. Often it involves photography or journaling in the moment. The more you bring, the more you will receive, and the more the world will reveal its secrets to you. For in the end, it is not the destination that matters, but the journey itself — the journey of bringing meaning to the world, and finding it reflected back in all its beauty and complexity.

Note: Yesterday Meta released their latest open source AI models: Llama 3. This post based on the quotation from Neil King’s book was written with the help of Llama 3 and lightly edited by me. You can try out Llama 3 yourself at https://meta.ai

Categories
Gratitude Living

Gratitude Snowballs: The Power of Sharing Thankfulness

Subscribe to continue reading

Subscribe to get access to the rest of this post and other subscriber-only content.

Categories
Inspiration Living Reflection

Exploring the Seams of Freedom

“All of us have little fissures in our lives that provide us greater than normal moments of freedom. You play the seams when you identify those moments and seize them.”

Neal King (American Ramble)

We often conceive of our lives as following fairly rigid scripts and routines. We wake up, go to work or school, come home, eat dinner, maybe squeeze in some hobbies or time with loved ones, then go to bed and repeat. The cycles feel inescapable, like train tracks laid out before us.

But if we look closer, there are tiny fissures and fault lines running through even the most regimented of daily grinds. Moments where the iron grip of obligation loosens ever so slightly. A traffic jam that makes you late, forcing you to take an alternate route. A cancelled meeting that clears an unexpected hour in your calendar. A power outage that shuts down the office and sends everyone home early. A flat tire that happens at the worst possible time and place – like happened to me yesterday!

These are the seams that Neil King refers to in the quotation. Little rips and tears in the fabric of our routines that create momentary pockets of freedom. Openings where the rules don’t quite apply and we can slip through the cracks of the scheduled order.

The key, as King notes, is to first identify these seams when they occur, and then seize them rather than letting them pass by unnoticed or unremarked upon. It’s about being present enough to your circumstances to recognize when one of these fissures opens up, and then brave enough to diverge from the mapped out path to explore it.

After all, some of life’s greatest adventures and discoveries have happened during these “off script” moments. Yesterday, my conversation with a tow truck driver opened my eyes to the steps he took to fend off a mountain lion attack on a 5 AM run in the dark! I hope I never have to apply his techniques but I did find our conversation about his encounter fascinating!

Of course, these serendipitous detours and unplanned paths are easy to romanticize after the fact, when we know they turned out well. In the moment when the seams first crack open, it can be daunting to jump through them into the unknown. Sometimes we have to but our ingrained instinct is to stick to our set schedule, to get back on course as quickly as possible.

There’s comfort and safety in routines. Seizing those fissures when they present themselves means trading certainty for adventure, the familiarity of a well-worn groove for the risk and exhilaration of going off road into the unknown. It requires being able to quiet that voice of fear inside us that clings to control and embrace one of spontaneity and serendipity in where the detour might lead.

The rewards of following those detours down their winding paths are often worth it. While not every seam we slip through will result in a life-altering event, they allow us to break up the monotony, to experience something different from our repetitive routine, even if just for a little while. Those moments add texture and vibrancy to our days. They’re the asides and ad-libs to the main scripts we follow. Often they provide those special moments we vividly remember and want to share with others.

So keep your eyes peeled for those little fissures and unexpected openings in your routine. Don’t just impatiently wait for life to reset to its default settings once these moments arise. Seize them while you can and see where they lead you. You might just stumble into a beloved new local cafe, or finally muster the courage to start writing, or meet someone who changes your life’s trajectory and opens even more new possibilities.

The seams are there, waiting to be played whenever we’re bold enough to follow their diverging paths. All we have to do is watch for the fissures and be willing to step through into the open spaces of freedom they reveal. Who knows what new experiences and challenges await us on the other side? What new learning might result?