Categories
Memories Music

The Engineering of Feeling

You’re always captive when it happens. A stoplight in the rain. A straightaway with nothing to look at but the white lines. Eight lanes of brake lights and nowhere to be but exactly where you are. The riff starts, and you’re not driving anymore so much as being driven — pinned by something that arrived four decades before you got in the car.

It happened once near Havana. You were there with a camera, working the old cars — fat-fendered Chevys and Buicks, kept running past the embargo by Cuban mechanics who became, out of necessity, a nation of engineers, scavenging parts and refusing to let something good die just because the factory that made it no longer existed. You didn’t think about Tom Scholz once, photographing a ’57 Bel Air held together by stubbornness. But the two belong in the same sentence. A man in a basement in Watertown, Massachusetts, kept a song alive the same way — building the tools himself when the tools that existed weren’t good enough.

Scholz had a master’s from MIT and a day job at Polaroid, designing the instant camera that would eventually lose to the VCR. He was an engineer — the kind who solves problems by taking them apart. What he did nights and weekends for five years instead was build a recording studio in his basement and use it to construct a song about a girl he’d loved in school, inspired by an old Left Banke single that used to ambush him with longing every time it came on. He played almost every instrument himself, layering twelve-string acoustic over electric over more electric, take after take, through amplifiers he’d built because the ones on the market couldn’t get the sound in his head. By the time Epic signed the band, the label assumed the demo was already a finished master. It was — just not one made anywhere near a studio.

An engineer built the least mechanical-sounding record of 1976. Every track is stacked with the precision of someone who understood signal paths better than he understood how to be a rock star. None of it sounds calculated when it hits you. The quiet drifts a few bars, then the chorus arrives like a held breath let go — the same structural trick Kurt Cobain would later borrow, half-consciously, for “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Scholz built the explosion out of engineering. What you feel is the girl, the ache, the years.

The song is about the way music smuggles you back into a memory without asking permission. Scholz built that experience the way memory actually works — not in one clean take, but in fragments, layered over years, until the whole thing cohered into something that felt, impossibly, spontaneous. The method is the meaning. He didn’t just write a song about the past ambushing you. He built the ambush, piece by piece, until it was good enough to catch strangers in cars forty years later who never loved the same girl and never will.

Another song does this to you too, and it got there by the opposite road. “Listen to the Music” arrived almost the way lightning does. Tom Johnston wrote it in his bedroom on 12th Street in San Jose, brought it to his producer half-finished, and the band recorded it without changing a thing — no five years, no basement, no solitary engineer stacking takes until three in the morning. Its density comes from somewhere else: Patrick Simmons’ loose fingerpicking threading against Johnston’s percussive strumming, two drummers locking into a groove that shouldn’t work this easily, and one bold studio choice — a phasing effect, that underwater jet-swirl, laid over the vocals as well as the guitars, which almost nobody does. It sounds less like a song someone assembled than a room full of people who fell into the same current at once, then got bent sideways by one effect and printed.

Two songs, same seat, same stretch of road, opposite methods — one built alone across five years by a man who wouldn’t let go of a track until it was right, the other built in days by musicians whose parts happened to interlock, finished by a single flourish nobody else was doing quite that way. There’s more than one route to the kind of complexity that outlasts you. Refuse to stop. Or know exactly when to.

Categories
Cuba Photography Street Photography

Havana, In Deep

There is a box between them with a screen in it, and to this day I do not know what it is for. It could be for sifting. It could be for rolling. It sat on the table in that Havana market like a piece of furniture too tired to explain itself, and the man rested his forearm on it the way men rest their forearms on things that have been useful to them for a long time, without needing to look at it. A couple of guys a few steps off were selling meat, and somewhere a radio was losing a slow fight with distance.

He was asking her something. You could see it before you could hear it, if you could have heard it at all, which I could not, standing twenty feet away with a camera and no Spanish worth the name. His eyebrows were doing the work. His mouth was doing the work. The cigarette in the corner of his lips had gone unlit and forgotten, a prop in a scene that had moved past needing it.

She had not expected the question. That was the whole of it, the thing the photograph is actually about. Above and behind them the light came down through warehouse glass gone frosted with age, softened, the hard edges sanded off. It had been falling on that table for years before either of them sat down at it. A woman’s face has a setting it returns to between thoughts, and hers had been somewhere else — the work, the heat, the cigarette she’d just lit, which she now held between two fingers like a held breath, smoke rising into that same light, catching it, going from invisible to visible to invisible again. Then he spoke, and the setting changed. Her eyes came around to him sideways, the way eyes do when the rest of the head hasn’t decided yet whether to follow. Caught. Not afraid — caught, the way you’re caught remembering something mid-sentence, or caught by a question that arrives at an angle you didn’t see coming.

They had stepped away from whatever the work was — the particular slackness of people on a break, elbows down, shoulders forward, the posture of two people who have stopped doing the thing they get paid to do and have not yet decided to start talking about anything in particular, except that he just had.

Neither of them knew I was there, and I have never quite settled how I feel about that. I took something from two people who never agreed to give it. I have made my peace with it the way photographers do, which is imperfectly, but I have not stopped thinking about it. This is the only kind of photograph worth making all the same, the kind where you are not in the room, not really, where the camera has gone as invisible as the screen on that box, recording a question and an answer that the two of them will forget by the end of the day and that I will keep for the rest of my life, lit by a window neither of them ever turned around to notice.

What they were talking about, I will never know. I have looked at this photograph for thirteen years now and I still want to know.

Categories
Black and White Cuba Monochrome Photography Nik Software Photography Photography - Black & White Photography - Nikon D600 Travel

Magic Man at the Tropicana in Havana

Magic Man - Tropicana Club Havana - 2013

Here’s another image from our evening out in Havana at the Tropicana Club. This was near the end of the floor show – shot with my Nikon D600 and the Nikkor 85mm f/1.8 prime lens, ISO 3200, 1/250 at f/4. Post-processed using Nik’s Silver Efex Pro 2 and a number of other tweaks in Photoshop CS6.

Categories
Photography

Cuban at Heart – Photography at Foothill College

Cuba Exhibit

This afternoon I stopped by the Krause Center for Innovation Gallery at Foothill College to see the Cuban at Heart photography exhibition. Some great photography from a talented group of recent local photographers to Cuba – reinforcing for me how it’s all about the people of Cuba.

If you’re in the San Francisco Bay Area and can make an easy stop just off 280 to see the exhibit, I’m sure you’ll enjoy it!