Categories
Memories Music

The Engineering of Feeling

You’re always captive when it happens. A stoplight in the rain. A straightaway with nothing to look at but the white lines. Eight lanes of brake lights and nowhere to be but exactly where you are. The riff starts, and you’re not driving anymore so much as being driven — pinned by something that arrived four decades before you got in the car.

It happened once near Havana. You were there with a camera, working the old cars — fat-fendered Chevys and Buicks, kept running past the embargo by Cuban mechanics who became, out of necessity, a nation of engineers, scavenging parts and refusing to let something good die just because the factory that made it no longer existed. You didn’t think about Tom Scholz once, photographing a ’57 Bel Air held together by stubbornness. But the two belong in the same sentence. A man in a basement in Watertown, Massachusetts, kept a song alive the same way — building the tools himself when the tools that existed weren’t good enough.

Scholz had a master’s from MIT and a day job at Polaroid, designing the instant camera that would eventually lose to the VCR. He was an engineer — the kind who solves problems by taking them apart. What he did nights and weekends for five years instead was build a recording studio in his basement and use it to construct a song about a girl he’d loved in school, inspired by an old Left Banke single that used to ambush him with longing every time it came on. He played almost every instrument himself, layering twelve-string acoustic over electric over more electric, take after take, through amplifiers he’d built because the ones on the market couldn’t get the sound in his head. By the time Epic signed the band, the label assumed the demo was already a finished master. It was — just not one made anywhere near a studio.

An engineer built the least mechanical-sounding record of 1976. Every track is stacked with the precision of someone who understood signal paths better than he understood how to be a rock star. None of it sounds calculated when it hits you. The quiet drifts a few bars, then the chorus arrives like a held breath let go — the same structural trick Kurt Cobain would later borrow, half-consciously, for “Smells Like Teen Spirit.” Scholz built the explosion out of engineering. What you feel is the girl, the ache, the years.

The song is about the way music smuggles you back into a memory without asking permission. Scholz built that experience the way memory actually works — not in one clean take, but in fragments, layered over years, until the whole thing cohered into something that felt, impossibly, spontaneous. The method is the meaning. He didn’t just write a song about the past ambushing you. He built the ambush, piece by piece, until it was good enough to catch strangers in cars forty years later who never loved the same girl and never will.

Another song does this to you too, and it got there by the opposite road. “Listen to the Music” arrived almost the way lightning does. Tom Johnston wrote it in his bedroom on 12th Street in San Jose, brought it to his producer half-finished, and the band recorded it without changing a thing — no five years, no basement, no solitary engineer stacking takes until three in the morning. Its density comes from somewhere else: Patrick Simmons’ loose fingerpicking threading against Johnston’s percussive strumming, two drummers locking into a groove that shouldn’t work this easily, and one bold studio choice — a phasing effect, that underwater jet-swirl, laid over the vocals as well as the guitars, which almost nobody does. It sounds less like a song someone assembled than a room full of people who fell into the same current at once, then got bent sideways by one effect and printed.

Two songs, same seat, same stretch of road, opposite methods — one built alone across five years by a man who wouldn’t let go of a track until it was right, the other built in days by musicians whose parts happened to interlock, finished by a single flourish nobody else was doing quite that way. There’s more than one route to the kind of complexity that outlasts you. Refuse to stop. Or know exactly when to.

Categories
AI Learning Photography

Autopilot

“Superb photographs are not just taken with cameras. They come from within you, your eyes, your mind, your heart, not ice cold equipment.” Fan Ho

There’s a half-second on the street, somewhere between seeing a frame and shooting it, that used to take me whole minutes. Early on, with a camera in my hands on the streets of San Francisco or on the subway platforms in New York, I’d see something — light falling a certain way, a gesture about to resolve into a gesture — and I’d think my way through it. Assess the composition or the angle. Worry about the background. By the time I’d worked it out, the moment might be gone, replaced by some lesser version of itself.

That doesn’t happen to me anymore, and I couldn’t tell you when it stopped. Somewhere along the way the thinking disappeared and the shooting stayed. I see the frame and the shutter goes, and only afterward, looking at the file, do I understand what I saw. I didn’t explicitly decide to skip the thinking. It just stopped showing up, the way a habit eventually stops asking your permission. Or how driving a car becomes second nature.

I think about this because of a problem the AI labs have been calling continual learning. The AI models we use are like brilliant interns. They can solve a hard problem at nine in the morning and a harder one by five, and they’ll astonish you doing it. But every session starts over from zero. Whatever they got right on Tuesday evaporates by Wednesday, the way a dream is gone by the time you’ve found your slippers.

The industry’s first answer was to give them a longer memory — let the window hold the whole case file in front of them, all the time. This works for a while, the same way it would work for me on the street if I stopped and re-derived the exposure math for every frame. But that isn’t how I shoot anymore. I don’t have the math open. I have what’s left after thousands of frames did the math for me and then got out of the way.

Based on some exploration I did this morning using AI I found three different AI research efforts that are now chasing that gap, from different angles, none of them all the way there.

A team out of Stanford and NVIDIA built something called TTT-E2E, which lets a model keep adjusting its own internal weights while it reads — not just holding the page in front of it, but being changed by the page, a little, as it goes. It runs thirty-five times faster than the brute-force method of remembering everything, because it isn’t remembering everything.

Google’s research arm published something called Nested Learning around the same time, built on the idea that a mind isn’t one system learning at one speed, but several systems nested inside each other — some updating by the minute, some by the year.

And a scrappier strand of work called self-distillation has models teaching cheaper versions of themselves, not by handing over a transcript, but by training the cheaper model to arrive on its own at whatever the well-informed version would have concluded.

None of this is what happens when I make a photo. Not yet. But it’s aimed at the same gap I live in every time I shoot before I understand what I’m shooting. The gap between having the math and having the eye.

I once asked Doug, a good friend who’s spent as many days on the street as I have, how he knew when to press the shutter. He didn’t have an answer, not really — just a shrug, and something about the moment feeling complete before he could explain why. That shrug took him years to earn. He didn’t keep the years. He kept the shrug.

And then a few years ago Doug did something I still don’t fully understand. He abandoned digital and went back to film. Not for any project, not for the look of it — he could get that in post if he wanted it. He went back to the actual mechanics: loading a roll, metering by hand, often using a tripod, etc. I needled him about it some, the way you’d needle a cigarette smoker who’d taken up a pipe instead, as if the inconvenience were the point. He told me he wanted to slow down, and that film was the only thing that reliably made him do it. Twelve frames and then you stop and reload and you can’t fix it later. The very friction he’d spent decades shooting his way out of, he went looking for again, on purpose.

I don’t know what to do with that, except to notice that he’s the same man who can give me the shrug and also the man who walked back toward the thing the shrug had replaced. Maybe that’s the part the labs haven’t gotten to yet, underneath all the vocabulary of weight updates and meta-learned initializations. Compression is the whole point, until the day it isn’t.

Note: This line of thinking started with a recent essay by Dwarkesh Patel on what he calls continual learning. It’s become a real focus of his thinking about how we get to a better future with AI.

See: https://www.dwarkesh.com/p/the-next-paradigm

Categories
Cuba Photography Street Photography

Havana, In Deep

There is a box between them with a screen in it, and to this day I do not know what it is for. It could be for sifting. It could be for rolling. It sat on the table in that Havana market like a piece of furniture too tired to explain itself, and the man rested his forearm on it the way men rest their forearms on things that have been useful to them for a long time, without needing to look at it. A couple of guys a few steps off were selling meat, and somewhere a radio was losing a slow fight with distance.

He was asking her something. You could see it before you could hear it, if you could have heard it at all, which I could not, standing twenty feet away with a camera and no Spanish worth the name. His eyebrows were doing the work. His mouth was doing the work. The cigarette in the corner of his lips had gone unlit and forgotten, a prop in a scene that had moved past needing it.

She had not expected the question. That was the whole of it, the thing the photograph is actually about. Above and behind them the light came down through warehouse glass gone frosted with age, softened, the hard edges sanded off. It had been falling on that table for years before either of them sat down at it. A woman’s face has a setting it returns to between thoughts, and hers had been somewhere else — the work, the heat, the cigarette she’d just lit, which she now held between two fingers like a held breath, smoke rising into that same light, catching it, going from invisible to visible to invisible again. Then he spoke, and the setting changed. Her eyes came around to him sideways, the way eyes do when the rest of the head hasn’t decided yet whether to follow. Caught. Not afraid — caught, the way you’re caught remembering something mid-sentence, or caught by a question that arrives at an angle you didn’t see coming.

They had stepped away from whatever the work was — the particular slackness of people on a break, elbows down, shoulders forward, the posture of two people who have stopped doing the thing they get paid to do and have not yet decided to start talking about anything in particular, except that he just had.

Neither of them knew I was there, and I have never quite settled how I feel about that. I took something from two people who never agreed to give it. I have made my peace with it the way photographers do, which is imperfectly, but I have not stopped thinking about it. This is the only kind of photograph worth making all the same, the kind where you are not in the room, not really, where the camera has gone as invisible as the screen on that box, recording a question and an answer that the two of them will forget by the end of the day and that I will keep for the rest of my life, lit by a window neither of them ever turned around to notice.

What they were talking about, I will never know. I have looked at this photograph for thirteen years now and I still want to know.

Categories
Cuba Lightroom Nikon Photography Photography - Nikon D600

Cruising in Havana

Cruising - Havana - 2013

A fun shot of one of the taxis across from our hotel in Havana – beautiful paint job on this old car!

Tweaked a bit in Lightroom with for a more cinematic look with some split toning, a 16:9 crop, and a vignette.

Brings back lots of memories of our great time in Havana last January! Nikon D600, 85mm, 1/200 at f/3.5, ISO 100.

Categories
Cuba Faces of Cuba Monochrome Photography Photography Photography - Black & White Photography - Nikon D600

Faces of Cuba – The Book

Faces of Cuba - Personal Publishing Project

Over the summer, I worked on a personal project that involved going back through my images from our visit to Havana, Cuba in late January of this year and creating a new portfolio of portraits – cropped to square format. I worked on a few images each week – ultimately resulting in a portfolio of twenty portraits that I titled “Faces of Cuba”.

I recently assembled these images in a Blurb book – also in square format – 7×7 inches in size. I used Lightroom 5’s book publishing module to edit the book and send it to Blurb for printing. I was very pleased with the result – this “proof edition” of Faces of Cuba!

You can see the full portfolio here.

Categories
Black and White Cuba Faces of Cuba Monochrome Photography Photographers Photography - Black & White Photography - Nikon D600

The Fisherman

Fisherman - Havana - 2013

I’ve been trying some new kinds of monochrome conversions – and here’s an example – a shot from the ferry in Havana last January. He was fishing out the side door of the ferry – and working to bait his hook. This edition has a bit of platinum toning in the midtones and shadows.

The Fisherman is the first image in my Faces of Cuba portfolio.

Categories
Cuba Photography Photography - Nikon D600 Photoshop CC Topaz

The Bread Shop in Havana

Morning Bread - Havana - 2013

Another image from our first morning in Havana last January – a bread shop just opening up.

For this image, I did a lot of tweaking in Lightroom 5 before bringing it into Photoshop CC. I used the Topaz Simplify 4 filter to soften some of the areas of the image and and few other tweaks.

Categories
Black and White Cuba Monochrome Photography Photography Photography - Black & White Photography - Nikon D600 Photoshop CC

Streetside in Havana

Streetside - Havana - 2013

On our first morning after arriving in Havana, we went out early on “Dawn Patrol” to catch the morning light. We walked down this street heading to the harbor – and came across this relic up on blocks collecting dust.

I like the juxtaposition of the car and the guy walking toward me. The gradient of the street light on the car body also adds some visual interest.

I processed it in Photoshop using some techniques I’ve been experimenting with – including platinum toning and selective sharpening.

Consider it a work in progress!…

Categories
Cuba Monochrome Photography Photography Photography - Black & White Photography - Nikon D600 Street Photography

The view out my hotel window in Havana, Cuba

Early Morning Route - Havana - 2013

In late January 2013, Doug Kaye and I headed for Cuba – for a week long people-to-people cultural exchange organized by the excellent folks at Santa Fe Photography Workshops. We had a splendid time, got some amazing pictures, and met some wonderful people – especially the Cuban professional photographers who accompanied us out into the neighborhoods of Havana.

We stayed at a great hotel in central Havana. It was a wonderful home base for us – very comfortable and clean rooms. On our last morning in Havana I was up early – and took this shot looking down at the street corner below from my room on the 5th floor of the hotel.

I’ve been experimenting with a number of post-processing techniques for taking images to monochrome – and this one seemed to work out particularly well.

Categories
Books Cuba Monochrome Photography Photographers Photography Photography - Black & White

Book Recommendation: Raúl Cañibano: PHotoBolsillo

Last January, I headed to Havana, Cuba with my photo buddy Doug Kaye for a wonderful week of photography organized by Kip Brundage of Santa Fe Photographic Workshops.

Raúl CañibanoOne of the best things about this week was that we had Cuban photographers out with us as we walked the neighborhoods in Havana. They really helped us see – and opened our eyes to the beautiful people and places in Havana.

One of the Cuban photographers we really benefited from working with was Raúl Cañibano. It was such a treat to be out in the neighborhoods with him – and watch him as he captured images along with us. Raúl works very quickly – with minimal gear. He’s got a great gift for seeing an image in the moment – and capturing it quickly.

While we were out working with him in Havana, he had a small portfolio book of his photography that he shared with us. It’s a beautiful small size – with some amazing black and white photography both in Havana and out in the countryside in Cuba. We wanted to buy a copy of this book – but he couldn’t sell it to us.

Raúl’s book recently become available for ordering on Amazon.com – and it’s a real delight. I keep it in my home office alongside my desk – for inspiration! Raúl’s eye and capture is a real treat for the eye! If you enjoy great black and white photography of real people, you’ll really enjoy Raúl’s small book!