Categories
Dayton Ohio Living Memories

The Closing of the Pool

The pool in Kettering closed on Labor Day. Not gradually — the way a door closes, on a schedule posted near the snack bar that nobody read until the week it mattered. There was a cookout. Hot dogs, cooked by somebody’s father on a grill that had done nothing all June and July, lighter fluid competing with the smell that actually defined those afternoons: chlorine, always a little too much of it, eyes stinging on the walk home, your suit smelling like a chemistry set for two more days. That smell is the whole memory, if I’m honest. The last cannonball, the lifeguard’s whistle going quiet, somebody’s mother folding a towel like a flag — scaffolding around the smell.

Then school started. Not the next day, but soon. Labor Day was the hinge the year turned on. Summer didn’t fade in the Midwest. It ended, on a Monday, with hot dogs.

I live near Stanford now, close enough to walk the campus most weekends, and I’ve noticed something it took me years to actually notice. The campus is empty for most of September — not weekend-empty, but empty the way a place is empty when the people who belong there haven’t arrived yet. The quad sits there doing nothing. There’s a stillness that has nothing to do with the calendar most people keep and everything to do with a school year that doesn’t start moving in until the middle of the month, classes later still, while thirty miles away the local public school kids have already been at their desks for three or four weeks — in what by Kettering standards would still count as deep, unambiguous summer.

Categories
Japan Living

The Sweetness of the End

The tragedy isn’t that the bloom falls; the tragedy would be if it stayed forever, plastic and unchanging, immune to the wind. We spend so much of our lives trying to build fortresses against decay, seeking “permanent solutions” and “everlasting” bonds, yet we find our deepest emotional resonance in the things that are actively slipping through our fingers.

In Autumn Light, Pico Iyer captures a truth that Japan has long held as a cultural pulse:

“We cherish things, Japan has always known, precisely because they cannot last; it’s their frailty that adds sweetness to their beauty.”

This is the essence of mono no aware—the bittersweet pathos of things. It is the realization that the glow of the sunset is sharpened by the encroaching dark. If the sun hung at the horizon indefinitely, we would eventually stop looking. It is the ticking clock that forces our attention into the present.

When we look at a ceramic bowl mended with gold—kintsugi—we aren’t just seeing a repair. We are seeing a celebration of the break. The frailty of the clay is part of its history, and the gold doesn’t hide the fracture; it illuminates it. It suggests that the object is more beautiful now because it was vulnerable enough to break and survived to tell the tale.

In our own lives, we often mistake fragility for weakness. We hide our grief, our aging, and our transitions, fearing that they diminish our value. But beauty isn’t found in the absence of a shelf life. The most profound moments of connection—the way a child’s hand feels before they grow too big to hold yours, the specific light of a Tuesday afternoon in October, the final conversation with a mentor—derive their power from their expiration date.

To love something that cannot last is the ultimate act of human courage. It requires us to lean into the “sweetness” Iyer describes, knowing full well that the ending is baked into the beginning. We don’t love the cherry blossoms despite the fact that they will be gone in a week; we love them because of it.