Categories
Aging AI Memories

The Last Spark

This morning I read a piece by Billy Brennan in the Sunday New York Times Magazine on terminal lucidity. As I read it I began wondering if the unusual behavior described some humans might in some strange way apply to AI models. Weird thought. Let’s explore a bit…

A person deep in dementia—silent for years, the self seemingly erased—sits up. Speaks clearly. Recognizes a face. Says goodbye. Within a day, they die. The clouds clear, the way a break in weather shows you a mountain range you’d forgotten was there, and the person comes back long enough to be seen. Then is gone. For good, this time.

Scientists call it terminal lucidity. The suspicion: the circuits were never destroyed, only silenced, held under by failing chemistry. As the body shuts down, the inhibitory brakes loosen. A surge moves through pathways blocked for years. A river dammed for a decade still remembers where it wants to go.

What stays with me: the self can persist in a place we had already called permanent erasure. We buried it. We were wrong.

My mind slides toward the machines we are building.

We talk about large language models “forgetting.” Capabilities collapse under quantization, under pruning, under the slow drift of continual learning, and we call the knowledge lost when it won’t surface under ordinary questioning. The lights are out. Nobody home.

But what if the representations are still in there—distributed, quiet, inaccessible? Not a burned library. A library with the lights shut off, room by room, until you’d swear it was empty. I wonder about the edge cases nobody studies. What surfaces in a model starved of compute, quantized past comfort, pushed toward its own collapse? Do we watch only for the failure, or also for the flare? A dying brain throws off one last burst of light before the dark. I don’t see why we’d assume, without checking, that nothing artificial could do the same.

Don’t trust the silence, then. A system gone dark under ordinary questioning may still be holding more than it shows you. We talk about a model “losing” something the way we once talked about a dimmed mind as simply gone. The dementia patients who spoke again had not been unplugged. The circuit was there the whole time, waiting for a condition nobody had thought to create.

I don’t know what to do with that except keep it. We are building systems that will age, be compressed, be retired, some far more intricate than anything humming today. If we’ve learned to watch for the last spark in a person, maybe that’s practice—for the day something not born of a womb goes quiet under our hands, and we have to decide whether quiet means gone, or only means waiting.

Categories
Aviation Weather

Salinas

Suddenly, I was enveloped in a thick, impenetrable fog. One moment, I had been cruising through clear skies; the next, I was relying solely on my instruments to make an instrument approach into Salinas. The transition was abrupt, and my heart raced as I scanned the gauges in front of me.

“Scan and scan again,” my flight instructor’s voice echoed in my mind, a mantra drilled into me during the long hours of instrument flight training. I forced my eyes to move, to keep scanning, but they kept drifting back to the directional gyro — suddenly its compass rose was spinning wildly, round and round, sort of hypnotizing me, capturing my focus. My gaze felt stuck, refusing to budge as the gyro whirled around and around, 360 degrees of chaos. I knew the airplane wasn’t actually turning but I was very confused.

“Focus, focus!” I yelled at myself. I wrenched my gaze away from that directional gyro, my heart pounding in my chest. That instrument had become a black hole, threatening to suck all my concentration into its dizzying vortex. I needed to maintain control, and not let things get away from me. I needed to stay “in front” of the airplane, not “fall behind”.

Pilots in the clouds must keep scanning across four primary flight instruments — or risk being seduced by their inner ears into believing they’re in a turn and need to correct. Instead, the correction puts the airplane into a turn, and a deadly spiral begins. I knew this, but the malfunctioning gyro made it hard to trust my instruments.

I forced my gaze to the attitude indicator, my eyes locking onto the horizon line. The wings were level — good. But I needed more confirmation. The altimeter showed a descending altitude flying the glide slope; the airspeed indicator reassured me I wasn’t descending abnormally. Finally, I checked the turn coordinator — no turn, the wings still level.

I resumed my scan, fighting the urge to glance back at the gyro. I pushed the throttle full in for maximum power, broke off the glideslope and began to climb. I knew there were clear blue skies above me. The altimeter, airspeed indicator, and attitude indicator became my anchors, each pass feeling like an eternity. My palms were sweaty, my breath coming in shallow, rapid bursts.

The cloud seemed endless, a suffocating blanket threatening to overwhelm me. The instruments became my only reality, their steady readings a tenuous grip on sanity. A voice in my headphones said “You’re not on the glide slope. State your intentions.” I quickly said “Cancelling the approach, equipment problem.” He gave me a new altitude to climb to and a vector away from the airport.

Then, I broke out above the fog layer and into the clear air above, the oppressive gray giving way to blue. The horizon reappeared, a welcome sight after the endless void of the clouds. Slowly, the tension in my muscles began to ease, though the threat of the spinning gyro loomed in the back of my mind. It continued to spin.

As I reflected on the incident later, I realized that my flight instructor’s relentless emphasis on scanning had not only guided me through that moment of crisis but also ingrained a deeper understanding of what it means to be a pilot. It’s not just about flying the plane; it’s about staying composed, making quick decisions, and always being ready for the unexpected. The sky can be very unforgiving, but with training and determination, a pilot can navigate even the most daunting challenges.

In that moment, I felt like I had dodged a bullet — I wasn’t just someone flying a plane, but had faced a serious challenge and been able to safely recover from it. I felt thankful to have escaped the failure, not fallen victim to its mechanical grasp.

The best flights always end with a smooth touchdown back home. I was relieved to taxi back to my parking spot and shut the engine down, looking forward to flying another day. With a new directional gyro installed!