Categories
AI

Hands He Canโ€™t Feel

Note: a fictional story exploring how software development is changing in the world of Claude Code, Antigravity, etc.

The cursor blinks for maybe two seconds. Then the code appears, all of it, a function Pete Callahan had been turning over in his head for the better part of a morning, just there, complete and correct and formatted the way he would have formatted it himself. He reads it the way you read something youโ€™re looking for an error in. There isnโ€™t one. He leans back in his chair in a way that isnโ€™t quite satisfaction and isnโ€™t quite anything else he has a word for.

Bewildered, maybe.

Outside his window, Dayton is doing what Dayton does in February, which is endure. The city has always been good at that. The Wright Brothers built their first serious wind tunnel a few miles from here in a room above a bicycle shop, testing wing shapes that didnโ€™t exist yet, failing in ways that taught them something. Pete grew up knowing that story the way you know the streets of the neighborhood you grew up in โ€” not as history exactly, more as weather. Just a thing that was true about where you were from.

His father would have understood the wind tunnel. You build the thing to test the thing. You put in the hours. Thatโ€™s how knowledge works.

Pete is no longer sure thatโ€™s how knowledge works.


His father, Ron Callahan, spent thirty-one years at Wright-Patterson keeping F-16s in the air. Not designing them, not flying them. Maintaining them. There is a difference and Ron has always understood it as a moral one. The pilot trusts you with his life in a way that is not metaphorical. You either know what youโ€™re doing or you donโ€™t. There is no almost.

He lives twenty minutes from Pete in a house that smells like coffee and WD-40, a combination Pete has never encountered anywhere else and that means, without his being able to say exactly why, that everything is okay. Ron is seventy-one now, still straight, still with the unhurried precision in his hands that Pete watched as a boy and tried to understand as a kind of language. On Sundays Pete drives over. They watch whatever game is on. Ron sets a mug in front of him without asking.

This particular Sunday Ron asks how work is going the way he always asks, with genuine interest and the slight remove of a man who has never quite been able to picture what his son actually does all day.

Itโ€™s great Dad. But itโ€™s changing faster than ever before.

Ron nods. He has seen the F-4 give way to the F-16 give way to systems so sophisticated the maintenance manuals run to thousands of pages. He knows about change. You learn the new thing, he has always believed, or the new thing leaves you behind. Simple as that.

He hears his sonโ€™s sentence as a version of something he has said himself.

Heโ€™s not wrong, exactly. Heโ€™s just not quite right either.


Driving home Pete thinks about the kids he came up with, the ones from places like Dayton who found in code what the world didnโ€™t always offer elsewhere โ€” a domain where being right was demonstrable, where quality was real, where the machine didnโ€™t care about your intentions. It had shaped him the way Dayton shaped him. Not as ideology. Just as weather.

He still believes that, mostly.

Itโ€™s just that the machine has changed its mind about what knowing means.


What Pete cannot explain, what he doesnโ€™t have the language for yet, is that the change he is living through is not like learning a new aircraft. When the F-16 replaced the F-4, the mechanicโ€™s relationship to the machine stayed intact. Hands on metal. Knowledge earned through repetition, through failure, through the slow accumulation of understanding what the thing wanted to do and what it didnโ€™t. The new plane was more complex but the posture was the same. Man serving machine serving pilot. The chain held.

What is happening to Pete is something else. Something that doesnโ€™t have a clean analogy in Ronโ€™s world, or in the history of Dayton, or in the mythology of the American craftsman that Pete absorbed so completely he doesnโ€™t even know heโ€™s carrying it.

He is still building things. He is building better things, faster, than he ever has. But somewhere in the last eighteen months the relationship changed in a way he is still trying to locate. He used to be the one who knew. Now he is the one who directs something that knows, which sounds like a promotion and feels like something more complicated than that.

His fatherโ€™s hands always knew what to do.

Pete is learning, at thirty-eight, to work with hands he canโ€™t feel.


By ten oโ€™clock the house has the particular quiet of a place that is usually fuller than this. Sarahโ€™s coffee cup from this morning still on the counter. Her shoes by the door. The small evidence of a life that will resume at midnight when he hears her key in the lock, and until then itโ€™s just Pete and the screen and whatever this is that heโ€™s trying to figure out.

What he does, alone in the house on these nights, is push. He takes the thing further than the task requires. Asks harder questions. Builds something more complex than anyone asked for just to see where the edges are, just to understand what heโ€™s actually working with. It is the same impulse that kept his father an extra hour on a Friday, checking something that had already been checked, because almost certain was not the same thing as certain and a pilot was going to trust this machine with his life.

The ethic transferred even when the medium changed.

Even now, when the medium is changing again.


He thinks about his fatherโ€™s hands sometimes, late like this. The way they moved with that unhurried precision, never rushed, never uncertain, each motion the product of so much repetition it had passed through knowledge into something that lived below knowledge. Pete watched those hands as a boy the way you watch something you are trying to learn without knowing you are learning it.

He used to think he had built something like that himself. The ability to hold a system in his head, to feel where it wanted to go, to know. The hands that knew what to do.

What he is building now he cannot quite name yet. It is not that the knowledge is gone โ€” if anything it matters more, sits heavier, earns its keep in ways it didnโ€™t before. But the relationship is different in a way he is still trying to locate, still turning over on these quiet nights while Dayton endures outside the window and Sarahโ€™s shoes wait by the door and the cursor blinks with the particular patience of something that does not need him to be ready.

He types. The code appears.

He reads it the way his father checked what had already been checked.

Not because he doesnโ€™t trust it.

Because thatโ€™s what you do when it matters.

Categories
AI AI: Large Language Models Claude

Witnessing the Incomparable: A Total Solar Eclipse

eclipse digital wallpaper
Photo by Drew Rae on Pexels.com

“Seeing a partial eclipse bears the same relation to seeing a total eclipse as kissing a man does to marrying him, or as flying in an airplane does to falling out of an airplane.” This poetic analogy from author Annie Dillard captures the profound divide between a partial and total solar eclipse. While both are extraordinary astronomical events, experiencing totality is utterly unparalleled.

A partial solar eclipse, where the moon passes between the Earth and sun but only obscures a portion of the sun’s disk, is certainly a marvel to behold. The sun’s brilliant light fades as the moon’s dark silhouette encroaches, creating eerie shadows and lighting effects. Birds may go quiet, temperatures can drop, and the world takes on an unusual hue as day seemstransitionally to turn into night. It’s undoubtedly a memorable phenomenon.

However, as Dillard articulates through her vivid comparisons, a partial eclipse merely hints at the profoundness awaiting in totality. It’s akin to an introductory gesture, whetting the appetite for something far more consequential lying ahead. Just as a first kiss is an enticing prelude to marriage’s covenantal intimacy, or an airplane flight can’t foreshadow the terrifying free-fall of jumping out mid-air, so too does a partial eclipse only skim the surface of its total counterpart’s depths.

During the fleeting minutes when the moon entirely blocks out the sun’s light along the narrow corridor of totality, the world undergoes a metamorphosis like no other. Dillard’s quote contrasts the total eclipse’s uniqueness by anchoring the familiar – kisses, airplanes – with their respective life-shaking counterparts of matrimony and plummeting from heights. By such comparisons, totality emerges as an almost otherworldly, paradigm-shifting event.

When totality strikes, day is obliterated in an instant, replaced by an ethereal twilight glow surrounding the revealed solar corona, the sun’s incandescent outer atmosphere. The tenuous corona, extending millions of miles into space yet normally obstructed by the sun’s blinding brightness, streams like a heavenly crown encircling the blackened lunar disk suspended in the heavens. Surrounding stars and planets materialize in the striking negative sky. Dillard, speaking from experience, has witnessed grown folks “turn and squall with oversuffered tendernesses” when confronted by totality’s dizzying effects.

This sense of being transported to another realm, of something extraordinary enfolding one’s existence, is what sets totality apart from its “kissing” cousin, the partial eclipse. The latter may be beautiful, but can never prepare the psyche for totality’s sensory overload and utter transformation of the familiar heavens. The two phenomena occupy entirely separate phenomenological universes.

Like a first kiss versus marriage, or routine flight versus existential free-fall, the total solar eclipse represents a singular, almost mythical boundary realm. Its awesome imposition of cosmic forces makes onlookers feel part of something greater transpiring around them. As Dillard conveys, totality disturbs our rational moorings, allowing a breathtaking glimpse beyond the veil of everyday reality into the sublime mysteries unfolding above.

Undoubtedly, even reading vivid descriptions or seeing stunning images and video cannot substitute for the visceral, perception-altering experience itself. But Dillard’s eloquent analogies provide profound entry points to begin comprehending totality’s grandeur. Only by metaphorically situating the total solar eclipse alongside those rarest of life events – marriage, plummeting through the void – can one conceptually grope towards its world-upending gravitas.

So while a partial eclipse may be deeply moving in its own right, it is but the opening act to totality’s astonishing main spectacle. The former merely scratches the surface of the holistic dissolution of boundaries and merging with the cosmos that totality offers. For those longing to encounter something truly elemental, to be shaken to one’s existential core by the cosmos’ rhythms writ large, a total solar eclipse stands in a category by itself. As Dillard reminds us, nothing can quite prepare us for that paradigmatic plunge.


Note: This post was written mostly by Anthropic’s Claude 3 Sonnet. It began with me searching for the word “eclipse” in my Readwise highlights database. The first quotation found was the excellent one by Annie Dillard that’s cited in the first paragraph. I used this prompt with Claude:

You are an expert writer of blog posts that are simple, clear and to the point. Write a 750 word post musing on the following quotation: “Seeing a partial eclipse bears the same relation to seeing a total eclipse as kissing a man does to marrying him, or as flying in an airplane does to falling out of an airplane. Although the one experience precedes the other, it in no way prepares you for it.” (Annie Dillard, The Abundance: Narrative Essays Old and New)

Where I live we will only be experiencing about a 35% of totality solar eclipse later this morning. Here’s to those of you from Texas up through the American Heartland into eastern Canada who will be experiencing totality (including Dayton, Ohio where I mostly grew up).

I also note this from FlightRadar 24: Air Canada flight 1070 will fly entirely within the path of totality for the total eclipse – from Dallas to Montreal.