Some genius out in California — one of the AI guys, the smart ones, always the smart ones — says the trick to getting a machine to understand you is to stop typing and start talking. Ramble for ten minutes, he says. Total mess. Say whatever’s in your head, contradict yourself, circle back, don’t clean it up. The machine, he says, is better at finding what you meant than you are.
I could’ve told him that thirty years ago for the price of a cup of coffee, except I would’ve told him to go find a bartender.
Every good bartender in this city has been doing this since before anybody could spell computer. You sit down, you’re a mess, you talk for twenty minutes about your ex-wife and your kid’s tuition and the guy at work who’s getting the promotion you should’ve gotten, and it comes out in no particular order, and somewhere in the fourth minute you say the one true thing — I think I’m afraid I already peaked — and the bartender doesn’t say a word, just wipes the bar down in front of you, and by the time you leave you know something about yourself you didn’t know when you walked in. Nobody paid Sam a nickel for that. Nobody gave him a paper to publish.
Now they’ve built a machine that does the same trick and they’re calling it a pattern. They put it in a paper. Somebody in Palo Alto’s going to raise money on it.
Here’s what I’ll say for the guy — he’s right, and being right is rarer than people think in that business. The mess is where the truth lives. Nobody ever said something true the first time they tried to say it cleanly. You clean it up too fast, you’ve written a memo. You let it run messy, you’ve said something.
But I’ll tell you what he won’t put in the paper, because it doesn’t fit on a slide. The machine will hand you back a cleaner version of your ten minutes, and it’ll sound better than what you said, and half the time it’ll be missing the one part that was actually true, because the true part usually comes out sounding wrong the first time. That’s the part a bartender knows and a machine doesn’t. Sam wouldn’t have cleaned up your sentence. He’d have just remembered you said it, and brought you another one, and let you sit there with it.
They’ll charge you a subscription for the part where it listens. The part where somebody sits with what you actually said — that’s still free, if you can find the right stool.